Time-Traveling David Lantz Warns Self To Do Everything In Exact Same Way
Bursting through the glowing space-time portal just before the second round of the 2015 Manzanita Invitational, a frantic time-traveling David Lantz reportedly warned his past self to do everything in the exact same way.
'Listen very carefully because we don’t have much time. Make sure you do everything that you’re already intending to do,' said the future Lantz, packing a lipper and passionately urging his younger self to execute his current golf strategies precisely as planned.
'Nothing must be changed. Ignore Burke, and hit every shot as planned,' said the frenetic time-traveler, who did not so much as pause to wait for the stray tendrils of blue lightning to fade from coursing over his otherwise naked body.
'This tournament is going to have a lot of unpredictable moments, but, no matter what, you must change absolutely nothing — remember, no matter what the end result, you did everything right,' yelled future Lantz over the howling chaos of the irising time vortex.
‘Just focus on getting through the afternoon playoff, the blown leads of 2016 and 2018, and your team’s 2019 choke job,’ the time-traveler warned before reentering the time sphere.
At press time, 2018 Lantz was being counseled by an alternate timeline Lantz on the grave importance of not doing anything differently in today’s playoff if he wanted to ever win the Manzanita Invitational years from now.
