Crabby Appearance Gives Group Greater Appreciation For How Long 5 Minutes Feels
‘HEY, IT’S ME CRABBY!’
Manzanita 2017 — Saying the incident provided fresh insight into the subject matter, sources within the group told reporters Friday that Kevin Barnes’ Crabby routine gave them a much greater appreciation for how long five minutes feels.
‘Obviously, I’m familiar with the broad strokes of that length of time, but it wasn’t until we sat down for dinner that I realized the exact way five minutes of puppeteering nonsense can test your patience,’ said Jimmy Hennessy, telling reporters that Crabby’s commentary was allowed to stretch out in surprising ways, ensuring observers could grasp every excruciating second that filled out the 300-second bit.
‘I really didn’t think there was something new to say about the way minutes of eviscerating storytelling can make you wince uncomfortably. But then Crabby nestled onto the shoulder of its favorite target, rambled on about something or other for two minutes straight, and I really got a sense of how interminable this sort of thing can be.’
‘I mean, McCleery has been out of the picture for a while now, and I enjoy Barnes’ protracted schtick as much as the next guy — but this thing is dragging.
At press time, Hennessy added that he had gained considerable understanding of the way 15 seconds can be drawn out to seem like an eternity as Crabby meandered over toward him while broaching the subject of someone else’s younger sister.
