Group Terrified After Hearing David Leslie Coming This Year
'HE HAS THE CRAZY-EYE'
Saying they didn’t even want to think about what the fiendish maniac might possibly have in store, members of the group expressed feelings of deep-seated terror after hearing David Leslie would be returning this summer to maintain an atmosphere of sustained menace. 'Oh no, this can’t be good,' muttered an anonymous source in utter panic, echoing the sentiment of overwhelming dismay felt by trip goers upon learning their nightmares had materialized suddenly and without sufficient warning.
'I read the words ‘David Leslie' on the Manzanita website, and my heart just sank. Christ ... this is horrifying.' Several other accounts indicate that after recovering from the initial shock, trip participants were either hyperventilating, or had quickly shut down their computers and backed away in fear.
'One time, Daschel and I went upstairs, and [Leslie] was just kind of sitting there in the kitchen,' disclosed another unnamed source in a chilling statement, which according to reports caused the blood to drain from the faces of all weekend trip invitees. 'David terrifies me' and 'He has the crazy-eye' were among the group's responses to the ominous encounter with a motionless Leslie. 'He wasn't moving, but I sensed he was coiled and ready to strike,' continued the source, not at all calmly.
IS THIS THE ANSWER?
Frightened out of their goddamn minds, trip registrants appear united against a common foe, and in a show of solidarity against Leslie's reign of terror, members of the group are connecting through various media channels to agree loud and clear that they are scared as [expletive] and don’t know what to do.
At press time, a small cabal was hatching a scheme to lace the youngest Leslie's drinks with liquid cannabis tincture in an effort to subdue the aggressive mayhem while another contingent was reportedly frozen in fear, arguing that the greenish-black weed tonic seems to heighten the fearful ambience of Leslie's psychological and physical intimidation.
Editorial Note – The identities of confidential sources quoted within this publication have been withheld for their protection.
