None of the Good Oregon Guys Coming To Manzanita This Year
In a highly disappointing development expected to put a damper on the entire weekend trip, sources within the group are confirming that none of the good Oregon guys are coming to this year’s Manzanita gathering.
'They aren't listed on the website,’ and ‘I heard they're all too busy,' reported sources noting the absence of their favorite Oregon guys would make the upcoming get-together the first Manzanita in recent memory not to include even one of the good Oregon guys. 'I don’t get why they aren’t coming,' the sources continued. 'This sucks.'
According to sources, news that ‘one of the Oregon guys is getting hitched’ and ‘another is having a kid’ follows last month’s discouraging announcement that James Meyer is considering calling it quits on the heels of a disappointing showing in last year’s Manzanita Invitational.
‘This sucks.’
As a result, preliminary reports indicate the weekend will be dominated by a less fun, Seattle-centric core who will probably just sit around all weekend. Trip goers hailing from outside Oregon described numerous disadvantages of the situation, saying that the trip will be 'really boring' this year. Sources remarked that with none of the Oregon crew present, there wouldn’t even be enough people to get a decent game of liar's dice going.
In addition, the outright lack of good Oregon guys drastically reduces the competition level as sources pointed out that in years past, the Oregon guys are better at virtually any physical contest, citing Meyer to support their case.
'Last year, I spent most of the weekend with the Oregon guys talking trash about the other Oregon guy who never shows up,’ shared one member of the group, explaining that ‘those guys just get it.’
‘Wait, what? Not even the chippy one will be there? This is going to be awful. I don’t understand why we’re even having Manzanita if none of the good Oregon guys can come,' the group moaned.
At press time, the outlook for the summer had become brighter following the late-breaking announcement that Brian Holste had registered for the trip, but others were quick to point out that Holste is not really considered an Oregon guy anyway.
