Single Voice Emerges From Whirlwind Of Chaos In Pat McGarry’s Head To Suggest He Eat Slice of Pizza
Laneda Ave — Rising above the maelstrom of disorder and delusion perpetually raging inside the man’s psyche, a single voice reportedly emerged Saturday from the chaotic whirlwind in the head of Pat McGarry to suggest he eat a slice of Carne Amore pizza.
'Go up to the box, open it, and eat a slice of meat pizza,' the firm, resonant voice said as it cut through the howling storm of unfinished thoughts, grandiose ideations, blunted sexual impulses, and harsh self-criticism continually roaring in McGarry’s mind to state that the pizza slice must be eaten immediately.
'Just three more steps. You’re almost there. Nick Lamb. Step around. Yes. Now put it into your mouth and chew. Good. Mmmm. Yes. Very good.'
At press time, sources confirmed the lone voice had overcome half-heard whispers — advocating McGarry share stories of how all his family members could have been D1 athletes — to suggest that perhaps a second slice would be in order.
‘SPICY RED PEPPER FLAKES’
