Have you seen Kevin Cach?
Last Seen In Manzanita:
July 29, 2012
Born: 1986
Eyes: Hazel
Hair: Blond-ish
Skin: Medium
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Height: 5 ft 8 in
Build: Husky
Other identifying information
Smells like gasoline
Frequent bywords:
'Don't piss me off'
'That pisses me off'
If you have information but wish to remain anonymous, please call 253-632-8712.
Friends' Plea to Man: 'Please Come Back'
Friends of Kevin Cach are pleading for the missing man to get in touch and come back. Cach hasn't been seen in Manzanita since July 29, 2012, and friends are hoping he might catch news reports that make it clear he is missed. 'This is a guy loved by friends. We would do anything to help him fix whatever problems keep him from returning,' said Daniel Zender. 'He needs to know that he is supported, no matter how grouchy he has become.'
Zender, who has known Cach for 10 years and used to pitch him shit at Gonzaga University, said he has decided to come forward out of concern for Cach’s well-being. 'We really just want to make fun of him again,' added Zender, noting his 'wannabe redneck' friend would have recently turned 30. 'Kevin, if you're reading this, please come back to Manzanita... you stubborn meathead.'
Police don't suspect any criminal activity in connection with the disappearance. Friends remember seeing Cach's non-American pickup truck leaving the 2012 trip, arm stretched out the window making an obscene hand gesture. Cach is described as caucasian, around 5 ft 8 in tall, of a solid build, with short sandy brown hair. Despite maintaining a white collar office job, he was last seen wearing a trucker hat, work jeans, a brown Carhartt jacket, and possibly sunglasses adorned with knock-off Croakies.
While friends have no idea where he may be, they harbor renewed hope that signs posted around town will lead to information as to Cach's whereabouts.
UPDATE
Earlier this week, Manzanita News received a registration to the 2017 beach trip under the name Kevin Cach. As investigators look into this development, it remains unclear whether the contact is legitimate or if this is some cruel prank being played on friends of the missing man.
Submitted Tips
Name: K*** Z*******
Information: 'I last saw Cach barbecuing salmon on his new Traeger wood fired grill/smoker in suburban Portland, OR. He may still be out there barbecuing for all I know...'
Name: D***** Z*****
Information: 'I saw him a few months back in passing. He was rushing to his truck (his "rig" as I think he prefers it called), distressed, muttering something about pregnancy and how it's actually real this time. I don't know his ultimate destination, though he did mention "the land," whatever that is...'
Name: M**** Q******
Information: 'As the tears fell while I read of his disappearance, I remembered all the good times with Kevin. I thought marrying another would help push Kevin out of my mind, but I realize now it's not enough. No man will ever fill the banana-sized void he's left in my heart.'
