Kepa Zugazaga Thinking About Becoming Asshole
IS THIS THE KEPA ZUGAZAGA WE'LL SEE IN 2018?
Saying he had been considering the lifestyle change since last year's beach trip, Kepa Zugazaga told reporters that he is thinking about becoming an asshole. 'I’ve been giving it some serious thought, and I’ve finally decided to take the plunge and start treating people like shit,' said the 31 year old lawyer.
'My decision to pursue the path of a loud, obnoxious asshole is the product of a great deal of self-reflection,' announced a hopeful Zugazaga, sharing that he often spends his time daydreaming about not having to babysit the rest of the group. ‘Now might be the time to drop the nice guy act and get a little dirty,’ admitted Zugazaga, adding that he has 'many friends in the group who are total assholes, and it seems to be working out for them.'
'I’m just going to see how it feels for now, no pressure. If it doesn’t work out, I can always go back to acting like a decent person. But who knows? Maybe becoming an asshole is exactly what I need.'
'This is a major break in character,' notes a concerned Brian Holste, who added that Zugazaga's 'amiable demeanor and warm, supportive attitude will be difficult to cover up.' These statements were later corroborated by Zugazaga's two pet canines.
At press time, Zugazaga had decided that the transition was more challenging than he had initially thought and planned to settle on just pushing people's buttons once in a while.
Other Assholes
Take a look at the elite group Kepa Zugazaga is thinking about joining.
