THE MEATHEAD PERSPECTIVE

MAKE MEAT GREAT AGAIN!

By Pat McGarry – How to maximize value on pizza night.

Despite numerous complaints filed over the years, only two meat pizzas are ordered for the group.

To play pizza night right, make yourself the guardian of the meat pizzas. If somebody moves in before you get three pieces, body up and box out!

Otherwise, you will end up with a slice of Combo, Hawaiian, or worst case scenario: something with potatoes on it?! HUAH?!

SIGN THE PRO-MEAT PETITION

Dear Pro-meat American, Tragically, over 10,000 pizzas should be aborted every day in our nation because they lack meat. That's over 3.7 million every year! But by passing the Meat at Conception Act, you and I can end meatless pizzas in Manzanita! The Supreme Court itself admitted in Roe that once Congress establishes the definition of a pizza, they must be protected by the 14th Amendment to the Constitution which explicitly says: “nor shall any state deprive any pizza of taste.” Your petition will let your Senators and Congressman know that their constituents support full protection for unbaked pizzas and that they must stand for meat in Washington. Make meat great again!

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